Happy Halloween, Blogosphere!

31 Oct

I love Halloween even though year after year I never do anything to celebrate it but wear a Halloween t-shirt with some jeans and Halloween themed socks to pass out candy at the door.  This year’s socks are purple with a cartoon-ish skeleton and bones and currently covered up by my slippers because it’s freakin’ cold today!  I’m not into the gory stuff.

Here’s a question about the holiday that’s been plaguing me for a few years:  Why does every women’s Halloween costume have to be slutty?  Let’s do a case study:

I apologize for the small picture, but you get the idea.  Besides, I like to keep my blog SFW.

This charming little diddy is called “Adult Glass Slipper Princess Costume.”  Well, they got the adult part right, but it doesn’t come with any glass slippers so that right there is false advertising.  Oh wait, they’re referencing a glass slipper so you know it’s supposed to be Cinderella, but by avoiding calling it “Slutty Cinderella” they’ve avoided having to pay royalties to Disney, who should be shutting this down for copyright infringement.  I’m not a fan of the slutification of wholesome family entertainment.

If the “dress” were any lower I would be able to see nipples.  If it were any higher on the bottom I would be able to see her gonorrhea.

If I hypothetically bought this costume, I don’t know where I could find the shoes to go with it, so I most likely would have to buy those clear plastic shoes because plain black pumps just wouldn’t be right.

The great thing about these shoes is they don’t make the wearer of the costume look like more of a stripper… oh wait.  Yes, yes they do.

Now I would never buy a costume like this because I don’t need to scar the little children who come trick-or-treating at my door for life.  This ensemble is really only appropriate for a strip club, or maybe a regular club if you were already drunk when you put it on.  It also lacks creativity of any kind, which I think is one of the great things about Halloween.

Here’s another problem I have with costumes like this: with the nation’s epidemic of overweight and obese people, surely some of them are crazy enough to put something like this on, especially since all the “plus size” costumes are slutty, too.  Thanks for that, Party City.  Here’s some information from the CDC, my go-to government agency on all things diseased.

 

http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/trends.html Go to the website to see an animated map of obesity trends and states starting from the 1980s. It's startling to say the least.

Basically, a third of people in this country are obese.  Add in the overweight people, and you’ve got a lot of people who should not be wearing skimpy costumes.  Yeah, I said it… if you weigh over 140 (and I’m being generous with this) I don’t want to see you in a skirt that’s way above your knees.  Let alone the skirt from our case study, where it looks like if that skinny model put down her leg, I would be able to see all her bits.

 

Look, I’m not trying to discriminate.  I’m fat, too.  It’s okay to be proud of your curves if you want, but I don’t want to see every last one of them.  I think we can all agree, many of these costumes are crossing a line no matter what size you are!

Anyway, I have to go clean up my husband’s pumpkin mess.  He’s working on his second jack-o-lantern of the three we’re making.  I already finished mine, having opted for a traditional face.  You know, round eyes, triangle nose, toothy grin.  How’s that for wholesome family entertainment this Halloween?

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