WIJFR: The Magical Christmas Cat

10 Oct

The Magical Christmas Cat
Lora Leigh, Nalini Singh, Erin McCarthy, and Linda Winstead Jones
384 pages

 

Stupid, deceptive, white, fluffy, house cat.

 

 

Yes, everything about that title indicates that I should be a middle-aged, single woman who owns several cats and wears kitschy sweaters a la Quaker Factory.  But I love a good story about Christmas and if there’s a cat involved, even better!  I picked this up at Barnes & Noble for fifteen bucks from the “new in mystery” section.  Since it seemed like something I would really enjoy, I didn’t hesitate to pay fifteen bucks for it.

Here’s what the back cover said: “New York Times bestselling author Lora Leigh and top-selling authors Nalini Singh, Erin McCarthy, and Linda Winstead Jones have a special gift for readers this year: heartwarming holiday stories featuring passionate romance, paranormal adventure, and a distinctly alluring feline touch.”  This sounded right up my alley… four short stories about romance at Christmas with cats.

Nope.  Not what you get.  Definitely not “heartwarming.”  This book was such a huge disappointment to me and the book is being marketed all wrong.  I mean the cute looking house cat on the cover with a snow globe?  How friendly!  There’s nothing friendly about these stories.

The first involved a shape shifting leopard who finds his mate in his nephew’s fifth grade teacher.  They sort of fall in love out of necessity because evidently these shape-shifting, large-breed cats have a bond with one person who they must mate with for the rest of their lives.  Think imprinting like in Twilight but less romantic.  They have to deal with her parents who are “racist” against shape-shifting cats.  Also, a very smutty story.

The second story was not as bad, since it involved an actual pet kitty cat.  But it had magical mistletoe that made anyone who was near it fall into huge fits of lust.  Since said witch could not afford her house due to back taxes, she was forced to lust after her lawyer, but don’t worry, he was just as lustful towards her.  More smutty than the first story.

The third story was scary.  The cat involved was a small stone sculpture, which, under certain circumstances would turn into a real cat and suck the soul of a woman.  When it collected nine souls it could take over the world.  Heroine received the statue as a Christmas present; then a shape-shifting jaguar saves her from becoming the ninth soul sucked.  More imprinting and mating.

The fourth story was pretty dark, too.  None of these stores were light and Christmas-y at all except that they happened to take place in December.  At this point I just didn’t care but I had to finish the book just to finish the book.  I had a hard time following the plot as a result, but this one was even more smutty than the previous three.  I mean it was awkward.  In this one the heroine resists the fact that the cat shape shifter, this time a leopard, has chosen her as a mate, but in the end succumbs because she neglected to take the pills that will keep her lust in check and prevent her from having weird 1/3 cat, 2/3 human babies.  WTF.

The book kind of borders on bestiality to me, to be honest.  But if you’re into that kind of thing, go for it.  There is a wait list of eighty plus people on PaperBackSwap waiting for this book.  I hope they aren’t as disappointed as I was.

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